The Gift of Rejection

I recently participated in an interview for a Catholic publication on the level of diversity in American Catholic media. In my comments, I praised right-of-center publications such as Crisis and Ignatius Press’ Homiletic & Pastoral Review for being gracious and receptive towards my article submissions.

In conjunction, I bemoaned certain established left-leaning outlets, which profess a commitment to diversity and inclusion, for regularly slamming their doors in my face.

Apparently being an Indian Catholic does not check their diversity box.

A moment of honesty: My initial hope with my declaration was for said outlets to be more receptive to my submissions.

However, as I reflected on this intention, I realized I was missing a meaningful lesson from the Spirit: Rejection can be a gift.

I know this sounds outlandish, but the Scriptures substantiate this claim:

Jesus said to them, “Did you never read in the scriptures:

‘ The stone that the builders rejected

has become the cornerstone;

by the Lord has this been done,

and it is wonderful in our eyes?” (Matthew 21:42)

As our Lord was rejected both during His public life as well as in our present day, so must we be willing to experience rejection while striving to live our Christian vocation.

Rejection can be instrumental in forming us into Christ, the cornerstone. As Christians we are called to imitate and follow Jesus, and by the gift of our Baptism we are further called to “share in the divine nature” (2 Peter 1:4), a grace the Eastern Fathers referred to as theosis or divinization.

In fact, Jesus further outlines the path from rejection to theosis:

“Whoever listens to you listens to me. Whoever rejects you rejects me. And whoever rejects me rejects the one who sent me” (Luke 10:16).

Thus, we become united with the Trinity amidst rejection. Jesus and the Father share in our experience of being rejected for the sake of the Kingdom, and partaking in this negative experience allows the Spirit to lead us into Divine communion.

But if rejection can lead us to Trinitarian communion, the highest and greatest good, what is stopping us?

None of us want to be rejected. Our fragile egos lead us to do everything we can to avoid such harm. We want to be liked, and we worry so much about what others think of us. We desperately hope people “like” our posts on social media and offer us gratuitous affirmation.

Unbeknownst to us, we are seeking love from imperfect vessels who cannot love us in the way we are seeking and meant to be loved. As Saint Augustine famously quipped, “You have made us for Yourself, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You” (Confessions Ch. 1.1).

However, we are not beholden to our egos, but to Jesus. And if we truly believe in Christ, can any human person add or take away from how Christ sees us?

Never.

We must therefore renounce the desire for our egos to be boosted so that our relationship with Christ can take precedence. As Saint John the Baptist attests, “(Jesus) must increase; I must decrease” (John 3:30).

Rejection from our own faith community has a particular sting. We often conflate how our brothers and sisters in Christ see us with how Christ actually sees us. We hang onto satisfying the whims of our fellow parishioners and partners in ministry as if doing so would win favor with God. We even let interactions on Catholic Twitter dictate our happiness, which our faith attests comes from God alone.

And in the circumstance I recounted at the beginning of this article, when certain media outlets rejected my submissions, I had assumed my message was no good, and my contribution to the faith community in this regard was not wanted.

Yet Jesus sees us fully. He knows our sins and limitations, our past and our future, and He still chooses to love us fully. Being turned down by these outlets has no bearing on who I am and the message I have to bring. In fact, any experience of rejection has little to do with us, and more to do with the one doing the rejecting.

But rejection isn’t an excuse to be a doormat. Jesus very explicitly called His disciples to shake the dust off their feet when they are rejected (cf. Matthew 10:14).

The pain and the stain of rejection do not have to stay with us, especially since dwelling on this can lead us to discouragement and resentment. Rather, when we recognize that we are rejected as our Lord was rejected, we can do as He commanded: shake the dust off our feet, and rejoice amidst sharing in this rite of passage that leads us to be transformed into Christ.

Therefore, when we are rejected, especially when it is by fellow Catholics, let us not allow this to lead us to discouragement. Shake off the despair, and thank God for the gift of rejection, a path that forms us into Christ, who desires that we be one with the Father and the Spirit (cf. John 17:21).