Formed in the Sacred Heart
Twelve years ago, on the night before I flew to New Orleans to interview with the vocation director for my application to the Society of Jesus, I had a dream that I was walking along a path, feeling heaviness and distress, when all of a sudden Christ appeared to me. He gave me such a comforting smile, and revealed to me his Sacred Heart. From his Heart, Jesus offered me bread to eat.
This dream did not feel like a dream. I truly felt I encountered Christ. Anytime I returned to this experience in prayer, I felt the Spirit pouring forth love. This effect of love confirms that I encountered Christ both in my dream and in prayer, since God is love (1 Jn 4:16).
Because of the timing of this dream, I also believed this was confirmation that God was calling me to enter the Jesuits.
During my time in the Society of Jesus, I experienced the Sacred Heart of Jesus multiple times. Most prominently, I encountered the merciful Heart of our Lord in the 30-day Spiritual Exercises retreat. I met the Christ from my dream, who continued to smile lovingly at me and feed me from his Heart. During this retreat, I spent 30 days in Christ’s Heart, and did not want to leave. However, Jesus calls us to go forth (cf. Mt 28:19) like the heart that beats and pumps blood in the body.
I encountered the Sacred Heart in this “going forth” or being missioned, most specifically in the border town of Nogales, meeting migrants seeking to enter the US border; in Honduras working with orphans and malnourished infants and toddlers; and in the Bronx as a hospital chaplain visiting those who were ill and the loved ones who accompanied them. In going forth, the Sacred Heart went with me, using me as a vessel to bring Christ’s love to all of these people. In turn, I saw the love of Jesus in each of these people. They too became vessels of the Sacred Heart for me.
During my time in the Bronx, fruitful though it was, I did not experience the same lasting call to remain in the Society of Jesus as I experienced in that dream. I had a dilemma in terms of discerning what this meant. Was I letting Jesus down by leaving the Jesuits? Was I no longer fulfilling God’s call?
I realized the Sacred Heart was a gift from Christ to me regardless of which path I chose. In that dream, Jesus came to me in my distress [though he is always with me (cf. Mt. 28:20)] and fed me because he loves me. Regardless of which path I chose, all that Jesus desires is that I receive and grow in his merciful love, and share this love with others.
Being formed in the Sacred Heart made me a better husband, father, and Catholic. And the formation continues, as the Heart of Christ welcomes me to share in the divine nature (cf. 2 Pt 1:4) and receive the gift of theosis. This is the greatest desire of the Sacred Heart — that we may experience union with God, and lead others to this union.
Therefore, no matter our state of life, let us accept the invitation from our Lord to experience his merciful Heart — a Heart that teaches us to love ourselves and love others as God loves us; to feed others as Christ feeds us while encountering Jesus in the ones we feed; and to find our ultimate purpose in God alone, experienced as Trinitarian communion: God’s Community of Love.
